And so I wrote a poem...
_____________________________________________________________SELFLESS
Your life was taken late last night,
And in your pain we saw some light,
A chance that only you could give,
A gift you gave so I could live.
I knew as long as I'm alive,
Your gift and I would surely thrive,
I'd hold your memory in my heart,
Your gift and I would never part.
I'd cherish it and make it mine,
Our souls forever intertwined,
The doctor said "we are delayed"
My worries start to be displayed.
Through many kinds of heroes voice,
One day you made a selfless choice,
The thought of dying isn't great,
But yet you still chose to donate.
They told me something wasn't right,
The surgery can't be tonight,
So while your family's hearts are sad,
I'll Honor both your Mom and Dad,
The choice you made was filled with love,
Your spirit now soars like a dove,
This time your gift was not for me,
This time just wasn't meant to be.
~Don Millette
_____________________________________________________________
Chronologically speaking;
5:00am - Jody and I awake to the sound of the phone ringing. I immediately know that this is not a usual phone call... Her voice softly speaking "Hello?, Yes she is here, just one moment..."
5:30am - Still in a bit of a stooper we grant each other some hugs and kisses at the door with the kids, my mom gasping for air as the anxiety and breathlessness catch up to her. Every 5 steps or so a 1 minute break to catch her breath.
6:15am - We arrive at the Toronto General Hospital. My mother, so worried about not having time to brush her teeth, asks me to get her purse for her where she has stashed away a bottle of water, a tooth brush and tooth paste... Go figure eh? I wheel her after that short interlude to the Emergency department. There are two other people waiting there and as per the instructions from the transplant coordinator we are to politely make our way to the front of the line and tell them that we are transplant recipients. The receptionist puts all other patients on hold and begins to ask us the questions etc... Then she phones up to the transplant wing and asks if they are expecting us. Send her up they said...
6:30am - We arrive in the transplant wing on the 7th floor and are greeted by Geoff with a G... He's a high spirited person, a perfect personality for a nurse as he makes us feel at home with his witty comments and obvious compassion. We are quite aware that it takes a HUGE team of people to make up a successful transplant team but this guy just stood out to us. Perhaps we just needed someone to latch on too, but no by the end of the 18 hour day I realized the special contribution this man made to this process. I will certainly be letting the hospital know how his nursing style helped us through a stressful time.
7:00am - A blood test and X-ray later Geoff comes in and explain to us that the surgery target is for 3pm that is when the OR room is booked. He also tells us that his shift is over and that he would see us later on. So as patients do, we thank him, and then we sit patiently. I surf the net through a slow dial-up connection on my laptop, chatting with friends and explaining to them what was going on. My mom sleeps nervously, waking at the drop of a pin.
12:00pm - A nurse comes in and explains some things to us about the anti rejection drugs my mom would be taking and the antibiotics course they would start her on. So a few minutes later she returns with three HUGE pills of cyclosporin and my mom chokes them down with a sip of water.
2:00pm - The day shift nurse comes in we were expecting her to start my mom on the antibiotics... But something was going on with the OR rooms, the nurse explains it's normal for the OR to be kind of backed up and that we should not worry. The surgery is not scheduled for 5:00pm.
4:00pm - Once again, we hear the news that there is a delay, at this point we can see the frustrations in the eyes of the nurses as they try to explain to us that it is OK. We were fortunate enough to have met up with a young person and their family who we knew from the previous four months of exercise classes. He had already had the surgery, and his mother and He were more than happy to let us know that they had delays too and that we should not worry. They too were a source of comfort to us as he is doing so well and they were so friendly to us.
5:30pm - They come in and start my mom on the Antibiotics they had previously mentioned. Saying that it looks like everything is a go for 6:00pm. Shortly after that the surgeon comes to visit and explain the procedure to my mom. Then just after that the Anesthesiologist comes in and talks with my mom about the drugs she is currently on and all her allergies etc. At this point as you can well imagine we are getting very excited. So we make some more phone calls to family in Montreal, Calgary and of course to home.. I tell my wife that she is going in a few minutes and let the kids and her speak to her... I could hear a little nervousness in my wife's voice, something I don't usually hear.
6:15 - A porter arrives, disconnects some stuff from the bed, removes the now finished antibiotics IV line from the side of the bed and then unlocks the bed in preparation to move forward. He says he will be back in just a moment to take her but... strangely he does not return.
6:30pm - The day shift nurse comes in and says she is not sure what happened and why they have not come to get her but assures us that if she was late the surgeon would phone down to shake things up. She makes a call to the OR room for us and returns with the news that it has been delayed again until 8:00pm Frustrated, I pace up and down the hallways and back and fourth through the room.
7:30pm - Geoff the original nurse, the one we found so amazing returns for his night shift. We are so thankful to see him again... That familiar smiling face that made us feel so good about being there. It is now obvious to Geoff that we are tired, frustrated and exhausted... Not to mention very hungry... He tells us that he will phone the OR and find out what's going on.
7:50pm - Geoff returns to install the special compression socks that will prevent blood clotting in my mom's legs during and after the surgery while she is laying in bed healing. Joking and making us laugh and giggle we begin to see some hope.
8:15pm - Geoff and someone from another department comes to the foot of our bed, both with obvious look of disappointment. The man explains that the donor was unsuitable and that they are very sorry but the surgery is cancelled...
Well, as you can see why I struggled last night to finish the blog that I told all my friends I would work on to keep them updated... It was a LONG frustrating night and the entire night I could think of very little other than the donor's family and how they must have suffered 10x more than we did...
So now we know what to expect, we met many fantastic people at the hospital. And we have put a new battery in the pager and are waiting once again for that ominous call for my mom to receive that new lease on life...
Chronologically speaking;
5:00am - Jody and I awake to the sound of the phone ringing. I immediately know that this is not a usual phone call... Her voice softly speaking "Hello?, Yes she is here, just one moment..."
5:30am - Still in a bit of a stooper we grant each other some hugs and kisses at the door with the kids, my mom gasping for air as the anxiety and breathlessness catch up to her. Every 5 steps or so a 1 minute break to catch her breath.
6:15am - We arrive at the Toronto General Hospital. My mother, so worried about not having time to brush her teeth, asks me to get her purse for her where she has stashed away a bottle of water, a tooth brush and tooth paste... Go figure eh? I wheel her after that short interlude to the Emergency department. There are two other people waiting there and as per the instructions from the transplant coordinator we are to politely make our way to the front of the line and tell them that we are transplant recipients. The receptionist puts all other patients on hold and begins to ask us the questions etc... Then she phones up to the transplant wing and asks if they are expecting us. Send her up they said...
6:30am - We arrive in the transplant wing on the 7th floor and are greeted by Geoff with a G... He's a high spirited person, a perfect personality for a nurse as he makes us feel at home with his witty comments and obvious compassion. We are quite aware that it takes a HUGE team of people to make up a successful transplant team but this guy just stood out to us. Perhaps we just needed someone to latch on too, but no by the end of the 18 hour day I realized the special contribution this man made to this process. I will certainly be letting the hospital know how his nursing style helped us through a stressful time.
7:00am - A blood test and X-ray later Geoff comes in and explain to us that the surgery target is for 3pm that is when the OR room is booked. He also tells us that his shift is over and that he would see us later on. So as patients do, we thank him, and then we sit patiently. I surf the net through a slow dial-up connection on my laptop, chatting with friends and explaining to them what was going on. My mom sleeps nervously, waking at the drop of a pin.
12:00pm - A nurse comes in and explains some things to us about the anti rejection drugs my mom would be taking and the antibiotics course they would start her on. So a few minutes later she returns with three HUGE pills of cyclosporin and my mom chokes them down with a sip of water.
2:00pm - The day shift nurse comes in we were expecting her to start my mom on the antibiotics... But something was going on with the OR rooms, the nurse explains it's normal for the OR to be kind of backed up and that we should not worry. The surgery is not scheduled for 5:00pm.
4:00pm - Once again, we hear the news that there is a delay, at this point we can see the frustrations in the eyes of the nurses as they try to explain to us that it is OK. We were fortunate enough to have met up with a young person and their family who we knew from the previous four months of exercise classes. He had already had the surgery, and his mother and He were more than happy to let us know that they had delays too and that we should not worry. They too were a source of comfort to us as he is doing so well and they were so friendly to us.
5:30pm - They come in and start my mom on the Antibiotics they had previously mentioned. Saying that it looks like everything is a go for 6:00pm. Shortly after that the surgeon comes to visit and explain the procedure to my mom. Then just after that the Anesthesiologist comes in and talks with my mom about the drugs she is currently on and all her allergies etc. At this point as you can well imagine we are getting very excited. So we make some more phone calls to family in Montreal, Calgary and of course to home.. I tell my wife that she is going in a few minutes and let the kids and her speak to her... I could hear a little nervousness in my wife's voice, something I don't usually hear.
6:15 - A porter arrives, disconnects some stuff from the bed, removes the now finished antibiotics IV line from the side of the bed and then unlocks the bed in preparation to move forward. He says he will be back in just a moment to take her but... strangely he does not return.
6:30pm - The day shift nurse comes in and says she is not sure what happened and why they have not come to get her but assures us that if she was late the surgeon would phone down to shake things up. She makes a call to the OR room for us and returns with the news that it has been delayed again until 8:00pm Frustrated, I pace up and down the hallways and back and fourth through the room.
7:30pm - Geoff the original nurse, the one we found so amazing returns for his night shift. We are so thankful to see him again... That familiar smiling face that made us feel so good about being there. It is now obvious to Geoff that we are tired, frustrated and exhausted... Not to mention very hungry... He tells us that he will phone the OR and find out what's going on.
7:50pm - Geoff returns to install the special compression socks that will prevent blood clotting in my mom's legs during and after the surgery while she is laying in bed healing. Joking and making us laugh and giggle we begin to see some hope.
8:15pm - Geoff and someone from another department comes to the foot of our bed, both with obvious look of disappointment. The man explains that the donor was unsuitable and that they are very sorry but the surgery is cancelled...
Well, as you can see why I struggled last night to finish the blog that I told all my friends I would work on to keep them updated... It was a LONG frustrating night and the entire night I could think of very little other than the donor's family and how they must have suffered 10x more than we did...
So now we know what to expect, we met many fantastic people at the hospital. And we have put a new battery in the pager and are waiting once again for that ominous call for my mom to receive that new lease on life...
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