Sunday, September 21, 2008

65 Yrs of magic.

My wife's grand parents celebrated their 65th wedding anniversary yesterday. One of the most fascinating things for me is to watch how her family gathers at several reunions per year. Christmas, Anniversaries etc. It really is a time to remember that while we all have our separate lives we are still family. Distant cousin's and in laws etc, chat it up, sharing the good and the bad with everyone in the room realistic or not it's banter that brings us together. From the complimentary wine supplied by her uncle, who owns a bed and breakfast, CLICK HERE to visit his website. To the many nieces and nephews that frolic and play around our feet while the adults find the best words to represent themselves in social conversation. The constantly repeating "How have you been", and "how's your business going" are all indicative of our family circle's cleshay rules, but I enjoy every bit of it. Each event that passes makes me more and more comfortable with our family gatherings, and I hope that the impression it leaves with my children is a positive one. I really want them to continue these traditions when they grow up because I too want to be the old person sitting next to his wife at the head table some day. I can see the healing and support that comes from having a closely knit family like this, and now that I am finally a part of it I won't let it go willingly. This is something I did not grow up with but something at 36 years old I am getting better at, my past made me cold to these sorts of gatherings, my abuse made hugs an awkward thing. My own close family was really restricted to my grandmother Regina who is recently deceased, one "good" uncle deceased, and my own brother and mother who remain close to me today. Thanks to a childhood full of atheist mindsets and lifestyles fit to follow, I was not close to my cousins, uncles and Aunt's in Calgary and that remains true today. In fact with the recent passing of my grandmother they have really presented an ugly side for which I have been forced to cut all ties to completely.

But I did not come here to complain, I came to say that the love and friendship I now see in my wife's family simply adds to the bond between my wife and I. My wife and I by the way are a topic in my life I have spoken rarely about. In fact I have had several people say "You never talk about your wife" or "You don't have many photos of your wife" well this is simply because my wife wishes to remain separated from my geeky ways and does not like her picture to be posted on the internet. While I have found healing in sharing my stories with people publicly, she wishes to remain as anonymous as humanly possible. I respect that and know in my heart that our 65th anniversary is just around the corner. I will say though that my wife, as viewed by my heart and soul is the most amazing woman and is perfectly a match for me. She is the answer to a prayer I remember so clearly, ok at age 15 and having no faith background it was not so much a prayer but more of a portrait of my perfect life but I remember putting a lot of thought into it. In retrospect I remember knowing in my heart that I would meet her some day. And so at the age of 20 I met my 18 year old sweet heart, drunk with love here we are today with three beautiful kids, a menagerie of pets and a whole lot of responsibility...

I wouldn't give that up for the world!

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